Just To Clarify

It has been brought to my attention by a few people that they are worried that I am too much of a distraction to Nate while he is on his mission.  I can assure you all that I am trying my best to give him the space he needs, and to not interfere with the work.  I understand that he is a missionary right now, and that missionaries really do need to have their complete focus on what they're doing.  The last thing that I would want to do is distract Nate while he is out there.  I want him to be able to fulfill all of his responsibilities out there and be able to focus on the people he’s teaching, and on having the Spirit with him.  And I want him to get the most he possibly can out of this mission experience without me being in the way.

I know that I get overly excited whenever I receive a letter from him, I post a lot on Facebook about him, and also have made this blog, but that’s just cause I do miss him a lot a lot a lot (can ya blame me?) but I can’t really tell him that, so the blog is sort of my journalish venting place in a way.  It’s kinda not easy saying goodbye to your best friend/boyfriend for two friggin years!  I’ve realized that because of all of these things, some people might think “well if she’s posting all of this stuff on facebook and she even has a blog about him, then she must be distracting him”….well no that’s not the case.  Nate cannot see any of my facebook stuff or my blog or anything else.  I don’t want his mind to be on me, I want his mind to be on the work.  All he sees from me is a short and sweet, encouraging letter once a week.  That is all, I promise! :) Part of the reason I made the blog is because I’ve seen a ton of other girls who are waiting for missionaries make similar blogs, and I was bored one day so I created one of my own.  (P.S. - sorry my blog is so incredibly cheesy.  Hahahaha)  I’m sorry if it seems like a little too much with all of the things I post about him, but I didn’t mean for it to seem like that and my intention never was to be distracting.  I love him more than most of you know, and I have tried to just be a source of encouragement and support for him.  I don’t want him to be worried about me at all while he’s in Germany, because he has no reason to be.  I also don’t want him to be thinking about me too much while he’s out there, and I try to make my letters fairly short so that they don’t take up much of his time.

Yes, I write a letter to him every week, but they are only a page or two each.  I never write things like “I miss you so much”, or “I wish you could come home”, or “Time is going so slow this sucks”.  I only tell him things like how proud I am of him, and how everything is going to work out how it‘s supposed to, how I love hearing about his investigators, and how I am so excited that he has this opportunity to bring people the gospel in Germany.  I try to write letters that I know will brighten his day and make him want to keep working hard and doing what he’s doing.  I’m sorry if it seemed like I was doing otherwise, but I really am not.  I’ve had 3 brothers who went on missions, and I have heard so many stories about their companions who had distracting girlfriends who just made them depressed and made them wish that they could go home.  I am not doing that.  Even though I do miss him more than anything, I am trying my hardest to be the best “missionary girlfriend” that I can be.  If I had the choice between him coming home or him staying out there, I would hands down choose for him to stay out there, because I know that Germany is exactly where he’s supposed to be right now and that he will be blessed and bless the lives of many people there.  It really does make me so happy to think that the guy I love is giving two years of his life to serve the Lord and bringing others the eternal happiness that him and I will have.  Yes it’s not easy at all being away from Nate with no communication except written letters, but I know that the time will come when I will have him back again.  I know that things in life need to happen in the right order, and that means serving a mission before he can be mine.

Him and I have known ever since we met that he had a mission ahead of him.  He wanted to serve a mission, and I also wanted him to go on a mission.  We developed a strong relationship, and we both knew that his mission meant that most of our forms of communication would be cut off for twenty-four months.  However, we both know exactly where we stand with each other, and neither of us need to worry about the other in that way.  I know that Nate knows just as much as I do that I will always be here for him.  And I promise that I really am giving him the space he needs to focus on the work, and I am doing only enough through letters to let him know that I care about him and love him and support him.

Sorry for the rant, but I just had to make sure that ya’ll understood :)