This is my adorable missionary :
Let me tell ya'll about the past year or so. Warning...this is gonna be a really long post.
1 year :) Nov 18, 2011 |
The next month flew by and the reality that he would be leaving me started to really sink in. I had known for a very long time that he would be going on a mission, but it had always seemed really far ahead. Now it was actually starting to feel somewhat real. Nate submitted his papers in the beginning of January, and on January 18th, the big white envelope came in the mail. The postage on it was $1.68 and we couldn't tell if that meant if it was going to be stateside or foreign, or if it even meant anything at all. Nate really wanted to go foreign. All of his family came over that night to watch him open his call. I sat there freaking out in my head about when it would say he would be leaving. "Dear Elder Hamilton, you are hereby called to serve as a missionary of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. You are assigned to labor in the Germany, Frankfurt mission". Aahh! Germany?! That's exactly where he wanted to go! If that's not proof that the Lord knows each of us individually, I don't know what is. By the time he was done reading the rest of it, there were tears streaming down my face. I couldn't help it. My heart felt like it was going to explode with a million different emotions. We both couldn't believe it, and Nate was absolutely stoked about his call. I was so proud of him for being so willing to serve a mission for the Lord.
The next couple of months flew by. We tried to go on a lot more "dates" instead of just hanging out at his house. However, I knew that we had to start focusing less on us and a lot more on him preparing for his mission. I don't think he could have prepared any better than he did. He studied the scriptures for 1-2 hours every single day, studied the Preach My Gospel handbook, and took a weekly class to learn German. I tried to help him with anything he needed and be as encouraging as I could. Even though we knew everything would be okay, there were many days that we couldn't help but wonder about the future. We tried to stay positive, but the thought of him leaving so soon was just plain old scary. Two years is a long time to be without the one you love, even if it is the best thing to do. Looking back, our last month together was actually more painful than it was happy. The fear of saying goodbye was in my mind all the time. I didn't know how I was supposed to feel okay with him just gone. Every time we talked about it I tried to let him know that we were going to be fine. No stress. The last thing I wanted was to make him feel like he was doing something that would hurt me, cause he wasn't, his mission would be the best thing that he could do for us, but the heartache of it was inevitable. I tried to reassure him that I'd be here for him and help him with anything he needed.
"The Goodbye" became a really tender subject, and we both cried a lot just thinking about it. I constantly had a big knot in my stomach because i knew that it was coming up soon. Having to say goodbye to Nate was like this big barrier that I just wanted to get ahead of. The last couple of weeks were so hard, for me at least. It got to the point where I just wanted him to be gone already and have the saying goodbye part over with. We were both so sick of waiting for the wait. I helped him make packing lists and went with him to buy things that he needed. Our last week together was probably the most emotional week of my life. We spent lots of time together, which most people probably would think was a bad idea but I don't regret it. I was grateful for every moment I got to have with him. Being with him less wouldn't have made the goodbye any easier.
Sunday was his farewell. Two of my best friends and my family came to support Nate and I, which meant a lot. I sat with my friends on the very front row and listened to the most amazing talk given by the soon-to-be Elder Hamilton and I spent the rest of the day over at his house with his awesome family. Let me just say something about his family. Nate has the coolest family ever. Each one of them is always so nice and so welcoming. His dad is hilarious and likes to intimidate people, and his mom always makes sure you are well-fed and is the biggest sweetheart you'll ever meet. His brothers are awesome and his five sisters are all super gorgeous. I loved spending time with his family, especially Jenna and Joey who we spent lots of time with. Anyways, Nate did a super good job on his talk and I couldn't be more proud of him.
I remember two days before he left, we were sitting in my apartment just cuddling. We sat there in silence, although my radio was on softly in the background. A Kelly Clarkson song started playing, the one that goes "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" and he just broke down which automatically made me start crying as well. It. Sucked. That night, we went on our last date together. We bought some food and went up Provo Canyon and had a little picnic. It was so peaceful and quiet up there and was definitely a perfect last official date for two years.
April 24th was our last day together and it went by so slowly. We went to wendy's for the last time together and sat in our designated booth (we've sat in the same booth there since 2010...kinda our thing). Then we did some last minute packing and shopping, and had a BBQ with his family. This was the night that he would be set apart as a missionary at 9:00 pm, which meant it was also the night we had to say goodbye. We both decided it would be best for me to not go to the MTC with his family to drop him off the next day because having to shake hands goodbye would definitely not be a fun thing to do. After dinner, we just chilled at his house waiting for 8:45 to come. I was on the verge of tears all night and it took everything I had not to cry in front of his family. Before we knew it, my friends were calling me saying they were outside ready to pick me up. This was the moment we had been dreading for such a long time and I couldn't believe it was actually happening. This was it. The final goodbye for two whole years. We stood there hugging in front of his house for about five minutes and we were both just hysterical with tears. It was definitely not a pretty sight. I gave him one last little kiss, told him good luck, and that I loved him more than anything and I would be right here waiting for him. Walking away from him was by far the hardest thing I have ever had to do. The most heartbreak I've ever felt in my life. I looked back at him one more time and then got in the car with my friends. Sarah drove to Ridley's and bought a ton of sugar and chocolate for me and Jasmine stayed in the car with me while I sobbed my face off to her. I tried but I could not stop crying for almost an hour. But I was so grateful that my best friends were there for me that night, it was exactly what I needed. Sarah Hulet and Jasmine Fullmer, I don't think you two know how much it meant to me to have you be there that night. Thank you girls!
Nate entered the MTC on the afternoon of April 25, 2012. Next time I will post all about what has happened after that day :) Hooray for the goodbye being over!!! Hallelujah to the world :)
So that...is my big giant story of my boyfriend leaving on his mission.
The next couple of months flew by. We tried to go on a lot more "dates" instead of just hanging out at his house. However, I knew that we had to start focusing less on us and a lot more on him preparing for his mission. I don't think he could have prepared any better than he did. He studied the scriptures for 1-2 hours every single day, studied the Preach My Gospel handbook, and took a weekly class to learn German. I tried to help him with anything he needed and be as encouraging as I could. Even though we knew everything would be okay, there were many days that we couldn't help but wonder about the future. We tried to stay positive, but the thought of him leaving so soon was just plain old scary. Two years is a long time to be without the one you love, even if it is the best thing to do. Looking back, our last month together was actually more painful than it was happy. The fear of saying goodbye was in my mind all the time. I didn't know how I was supposed to feel okay with him just gone. Every time we talked about it I tried to let him know that we were going to be fine. No stress. The last thing I wanted was to make him feel like he was doing something that would hurt me, cause he wasn't, his mission would be the best thing that he could do for us, but the heartache of it was inevitable. I tried to reassure him that I'd be here for him and help him with anything he needed.
"The Goodbye" became a really tender subject, and we both cried a lot just thinking about it. I constantly had a big knot in my stomach because i knew that it was coming up soon. Having to say goodbye to Nate was like this big barrier that I just wanted to get ahead of. The last couple of weeks were so hard, for me at least. It got to the point where I just wanted him to be gone already and have the saying goodbye part over with. We were both so sick of waiting for the wait. I helped him make packing lists and went with him to buy things that he needed. Our last week together was probably the most emotional week of my life. We spent lots of time together, which most people probably would think was a bad idea but I don't regret it. I was grateful for every moment I got to have with him. Being with him less wouldn't have made the goodbye any easier.
April 22, 2012 |
Last Date :) |
April 24th was our last day together and it went by so slowly. We went to wendy's for the last time together and sat in our designated booth (we've sat in the same booth there since 2010...kinda our thing). Then we did some last minute packing and shopping, and had a BBQ with his family. This was the night that he would be set apart as a missionary at 9:00 pm, which meant it was also the night we had to say goodbye. We both decided it would be best for me to not go to the MTC with his family to drop him off the next day because having to shake hands goodbye would definitely not be a fun thing to do. After dinner, we just chilled at his house waiting for 8:45 to come. I was on the verge of tears all night and it took everything I had not to cry in front of his family. Before we knew it, my friends were calling me saying they were outside ready to pick me up. This was the moment we had been dreading for such a long time and I couldn't believe it was actually happening. This was it. The final goodbye for two whole years. We stood there hugging in front of his house for about five minutes and we were both just hysterical with tears. It was definitely not a pretty sight. I gave him one last little kiss, told him good luck, and that I loved him more than anything and I would be right here waiting for him. Walking away from him was by far the hardest thing I have ever had to do. The most heartbreak I've ever felt in my life. I looked back at him one more time and then got in the car with my friends. Sarah drove to Ridley's and bought a ton of sugar and chocolate for me and Jasmine stayed in the car with me while I sobbed my face off to her. I tried but I could not stop crying for almost an hour. But I was so grateful that my best friends were there for me that night, it was exactly what I needed. Sarah Hulet and Jasmine Fullmer, I don't think you two know how much it meant to me to have you be there that night. Thank you girls!
Nate entered the MTC on the afternoon of April 25, 2012. Next time I will post all about what has happened after that day :) Hooray for the goodbye being over!!! Hallelujah to the world :)
So that...is my big giant story of my boyfriend leaving on his mission.
saying goodbye is hard work! but it's all going to be worth it in the end.
ReplyDeleteHeck yes it is!! :)
DeleteAww sad, I don't like goodbyes. But just think....you're that much closer to the biggest hello! :) Hang in there Heath, you can do it!
ReplyDelete