Called To Serve

This is my adorable missionary :

Let me tell ya'll about the past year or so.  Warning...this is gonna be a really long post.

1 year :) Nov 18, 2011

Nathan and I have both known for over a year that we were meant to be together.  He has become my best friend and the one who I am closest with.  He has literally every quality I've ever wanted and I really couldn't ask for anything more than what he is.  He has treated me better than I ever expected anyone to and he knows me down to every last detail.  Him and I have shared countless memories together and the time I've known him has been the happiest time of my life.  Last year around this time, we both graduated from Timpanogos High School.  After graduation, we had the best summer together.  But after that, it was time for him to start thinking about his mission.  He knew he wanted to serve one, and I knew I wanted him to serve one.  Soon enough he began working on his mission papers.  Not long after that it was already the day of our one year anniversary from when he asked me out.  That day was a really special day for us.  We both dressed up and went to a nice restaurant, and then he took me to the exact spot where he had asked me out one year earlier.  We got out of the car and stood there talking about the past year, even though it was snowing really hard (the only time it actually snowed last winter).  This time instead of asking me if I would be his girlfriend, he said "will you wait for me?".  Easiest answer in the world...YES.  Of course we both already knew the answer to that, he just wanted to be cute and ask me anyways.  (this post is going to be full of cheesiness so beware...we are just cheesy people) He also gave me a promise ring cause that's what cheesy people do, and I've worn it everyday since.  

The next month flew by and the reality that he would be leaving me started to really sink in.  I had known for a very long time that he would be going on a mission, but it had always seemed really far ahead.  Now it was actually starting to feel somewhat real.  Nate submitted his papers in the beginning of January, and on January 18th, the big white envelope came in the mail.  The postage on it was $1.68 and we couldn't tell if that meant if it was going to be stateside or foreign, or if it even meant anything at all.  Nate really  wanted to go foreign.  All of his family came over that night to watch him open his call.  I sat there freaking out in my head about when it would say he would be leaving.  "Dear Elder Hamilton, you are hereby called to serve as a missionary of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.  You are assigned to labor in the Germany, Frankfurt mission".  Aahh! Germany?! That's exactly where he wanted to go!  If that's not proof that the Lord knows each of us individually, I don't know what is.  By the time he was done reading the rest of it, there were tears streaming down my face.  I couldn't help it.  My heart felt like it was going to explode with a million different emotions.  We both couldn't believe it, and Nate was absolutely stoked about his call.  I was so proud of him for being so willing to serve a mission for the Lord.

The next couple of months flew by.  We tried to go on a lot more "dates" instead of just hanging out at his house.  However, I knew that we had to start focusing less on us  and a lot more on him  preparing for his mission.  I don't think he could have prepared any better than he did.  He studied the scriptures for 1-2 hours every single day, studied the Preach My Gospel handbook, and took a weekly class to learn German.  I tried to help him with anything he needed and be as encouraging as I could.  Even though we knew everything would be okay, there were many days that we couldn't help but wonder about the future.  We tried to stay positive, but the thought of him leaving so soon was just plain old scary.  Two years is a long  time to be without the one you love, even if it is the best thing to do.  Looking back, our last month together was actually more painful than it was happy.  The fear of saying goodbye was in my mind all the time.  I didn't know how I was supposed to feel okay with him just gone.  Every time we talked about it I tried to let him know that we were going to be fine.  No stress.  The last thing I wanted was to make him feel like he was doing something that would hurt me, cause he wasn't, his mission would be the best thing that he could  do for us, but the heartache of it was inevitable.  I tried to reassure him that I'd be here for him and help him with anything he needed.

"The Goodbye" became a really tender subject, and we both cried a lot just thinking about it.  I constantly had a big knot in my stomach because i knew that it was coming up soon.  Having to say goodbye to Nate was like this big barrier that I just wanted to get ahead of.  The last couple of weeks were so hard, for me at least.  It got to the point where I just wanted him to be gone already and have the saying goodbye part over with.  We were both so sick of waiting for the wait.  I helped him make packing lists and went with him to buy things that he needed.  Our last week together was probably the most emotional week of my life.  We spent lots of time together, which most people probably would think was a bad idea but I don't regret it.  I was grateful for every moment I got to have with him.  Being with him less wouldn't have made the goodbye any easier.

Sunday was his farewell.  Two of my best friends and my family came to support Nate and I, which meant a lot.  I sat with my friends on the very front row and listened to the most amazing talk given by the soon-to-be Elder Hamilton and I spent the rest of the day over at his house with his awesome family.  Let me just say something about his family.  Nate has the coolest family ever.  Each one of them is always so nice and so welcoming.  His dad is hilarious and likes to intimidate people, and his mom always makes sure you are well-fed and is the biggest sweetheart you'll ever meet.  His brothers are awesome and his five sisters are all super gorgeous.  I loved spending time with his family, especially Jenna and Joey who we spent lots  of time with.  Anyways, Nate did a super good job on his talk and I couldn't be more proud of him.

April 22, 2012

 I remember two days before he left, we were sitting in my apartment just cuddling.  We sat there in silence, although my radio was on softly in the background.  A Kelly Clarkson song started playing, the one that goes "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" and he just broke down which automatically made me start crying as well.  It. Sucked.  That night, we went on our last date together.  We bought some food and went up Provo Canyon and had a little picnic.  It was so peaceful and quiet up there and was definitely a perfect last official date for two years.

Last Date :)

April 24th was our last day together and it went by so slowly.  We went to wendy's for the last time together and sat in our designated booth (we've sat in the same booth there since 2010...kinda our thing).  Then we did some last minute packing and shopping, and had a BBQ with his family.  This was the night that he would be set apart as a missionary at 9:00 pm, which meant it was also the night we had to say goodbye.  We both decided it would be best for me to not go to the MTC with his family to drop him off the next day because having to shake hands goodbye would definitely not be a fun thing to do.  After dinner, we just chilled at his house waiting for 8:45 to come.  I was on the verge of tears all night and it took everything I had not to cry in front of his family.  Before we knew it, my friends were calling me saying they were outside ready to pick me up.  This was the moment we had been dreading for such a long time and I couldn't believe it was actually happening.  This was it.  The final goodbye for two whole years.  We stood there hugging in front of his house for about five minutes and we were both just hysterical with tears.  It was definitely not a pretty sight.  I gave him one last little kiss, told him good luck, and that I loved him more than anything and I would be right here waiting for him.  Walking away from him was by far the  hardest thing I have ever had to do.  The most heartbreak I've ever felt in my life.  I looked back at him one more time and then got in the car with my friends.  Sarah drove to Ridley's and bought a ton of sugar and chocolate for me and Jasmine stayed in the car with me while I sobbed my face off to her.  I tried but I could not stop crying for almost an hour.  But I was so grateful that my best friends were there for me that night, it was exactly what I needed.  Sarah Hulet and Jasmine Fullmer, I don't think you two know how much it meant to me to have you be there that night.  Thank you girls!

Nate entered the MTC on the afternoon of April 25, 2012.  Next time I will post all about what has happened after that day :)  Hooray for the goodbye being over!!! Hallelujah to the world :)

So that...is my big giant story of my boyfriend leaving on his mission.